Maternal love: the strength of the affective bond

What are the things necessary in love ?

Suffering is experienced differently by everyone, sometimes its origin and how to silence it are unknown. Some people and situations activate this suffering, making it interesting to unveil the origin of the shadow side that is repressed.

The theme of «bonding» is so vast that Spiritual Life will only deal with that which is generated in the first years of life.

The concept «bond» comes from the Latin word «vinculum», which means a deep, lasting and indissoluble connection between the parties that are united. 

Thus, assuming that one human being develops from another, then the quality of the first bond established between the baby and the mother is fundamental in the formation of the child’s personality. Although the genesis of the affective bond begins in intrauterine life, when the mother sings, speaks, laughs and touches her own belly. 

Between 0 and 6 years, the human brain is in full development, making it very sensitive to the care received and to environmental stimuli. Therefore, affective deprivation has serious emotional consequences on their development. Although maternal care, in the satisfaction of vital and affective needs, changes with the child’s growth, mothering will always have a strong impact on the child’s emotional health and, later, in adulthood. Because in the first years of life, she absorbs everything intensely. All the love, care and affection directed towards the baby will allow him to establish a bond with his mother.  The neglect of love and attention in basic care in early childhood will deeply affect the formation of affective bonds in adulthood, contributing to the development of violent behavior, drug use, the appearance of depression, anxiety, shyness, low self-esteem, antisocial behavior, fear of abandonment and rejection, psychosis or other conduct disorder.

The quality of the family bonds that are established in relationships, throughout life, will determine the quality of life. Never forget that the first months and years of a child’s life are the most important for emotional health.

The bond happens when there is affective investment and maternal sensitivity or that of another caregiver. The quality of mental and affective health in adulthood depends on the quality of motherhood you had in childhood. So don’t be alarmed if you hear, «tell me about your mother and I will tell you who you are emotionally».